Transformers

Generally when I go into a movie like this, I like to set my expectations low. That way I can just sit back and try to enjoy a big budget special effects monster like Transformers. However, the entire film is a mess of Michael Bay like proportions. Director Michael Bay has been bringing you shite since 1995's Bad Boys crapped onto big screens. Bay's films rarely have an once of reality in them and often feel like the dialogue was made up by frat boys on a bender.

Transformers does little to disinguish itself either with special effects or story. The plot revolves around the two warring races of robots trying to find the "all spark" which is said to create new Transformers through some sort of mystical power. The "all spark" was thought to have crash landed on Earth and now both sides are trying to retrieve it. Shia Labeouf and Megan Fox play teenagers who get caught up in the struggle. Their scenes together are some of the most excrutiating I've ever endured. Fox is completely wooden and Shia just clowns his way through depending on the effects to save him.

Oh but wait... the effects are awful. I can't think of a film with the kind of budget Transformers had that just out and out had lousy visual effects. All the Transformers look similar when in their robot form not counting Bumblebee or Optimus Prime. And wtf Megatron is an airplane now? The CGI is obviously spliced in with the scenes to an almost comical way.

Ugh that's enough... if you are a fan of the old series or the comic books, you will be sorely disappointed. There is nothing here to like except for John Turturro. He manages to achieve a frantic level of comedy that is lacking throughout the rest of the film. If I could though, I would give this a negative score.

0/100